30 Things I would tell my younger self.

1. Feeling like the unfit or fat one in school and see all of your friends as being skinnier and prettier than you. Shrug it off because in 10 years time you will look back and think, ‘Shit, I had a great body, should’ve made the most of it. What happened to me!’ Now in your 20s feeling the pressure on your lungs when you try to tie your laces or maybe even run up the stairs, because now you really are that unfit!
2. Smoking 10 Richmond super kings (£2.15 back then) and 3 litres of White Lightening was not, is not and never will be a good idea. All that standing around outside the shop waiting with your friends pleading with someone as they pass by to buy some for you with all the dinner money that you’ve saved…together.

3. Hiding that bottle of chid (cider)  in someone’s front garden when the police are in sight always seems like a good idea at the time.
4. Don’t post anything to your Bebo because, one day, you will forget your login details..
5. Even if you don’t forget the log in you can guarantee one particular friend will have print screened or copy & pasted it before you managed to delete it.
6. Signing in and out on MSN when the boy you fancy pops up as online is not going to make him want to talk to you any more, especially if he in fact knew you were online way before you knew he was.
7. ‘IDST’ is not true – it can be destroyed and will not remain to be true, do not worry.

8. Don’t worry about what people think about you, technology really is not that advanced yet.  So what if someone got a photo of you in a compromising situation and sent it around school?  Facebook hasn’t been invented yet so it will be forgotten in a few days and its possible that no one will ever see it again.

9. Don’t worry about being popular.  In 10 years time, those kids you were so desperate to be friends with will be a distant memory, in fact you may even find they are the ones in a dead end job, yeah cool kid!

10. School really isn’t that bad, it’s only  9am until 3.20pm with a couple of breaks in between. It will seem like heaven when you eventually enter the world of work.

11. Stop experimenting with your mum’s make-up and buy your own.  That orange line on your chin where you haven’t quite blended your foundation into your neck is not pretty. You look like a dog that’s been tangoed!

12. Similarly, stop shaving your eyebrows and drawing them on, embrace your facial hair because it will all be gone before you know it and you wont be able to step foot out the front door without drawing your eyebrows on. Which you can be certain to smudge or draw on wonky!

13. ‘Accidentally’ getting changed in front of your webcam is not cool.

14. Most of the boys you fancy now, will end up fat, ugly and in dead-end jobs.

15. Don’t be pushed into loosing your virginity to fit in or feel normal. it is precious!

16. Those career advisers are very much wrong, your GCSE options won’t impact that much on your career path.
17. You haven’t yet experienced proper heartbreak.  Just because your ‘boyfriend of 5 months’ kissed someone you thought was your friend it is not the end of the world.  That friend was doing you a favour and you will still be friends in 12 years time and that lad well see no. 14
18. Fridged, no, sensible is the word – 90% of those stupid boys saying that “you’re fridged” have probably never even seen or touched boobs, never mind anything else.

19. Don’t ever think it’s cool to be a chav.  Walking round in trackies tucked into your socks, with a Fred Perry jumper on, hoop earrings and a boys chunky curb chain, just do not do it!.
20. You haven’t met the person you’re going to marry and have babies with yet.  You might be a lesbian!

21.  Don’t be in a rush to grow up, enjoy being young and being able to get away with doing silly things. Enjoy your childhood.
22. You and your friends will fall out and make up.  Drama is everywhere, just be thankful you don’t have Facebook to exaggerate the issue further.

23. Don’t dye your hair. You’ll hate it and you’ll have dyed hair on your prom photos and you’ll hate them as well.
24. Throw away that brown belt made up of big circles with studs in the middle.  One day, Deidre on Coronation Street will be wearing one and it’s best to get rid of all hard evidence that you owned one.

25. Don’t stress about shaving your legs for P.E.  In years to come, you’ll go for weeks on end without shaving your legs and it won’t phase you.

26. Stop straightening your hair every single day.  Split ends are not pretty.

27. DJ Cammy, DJ Rankin etc will cease to exist and you will always remember the rap to ‘Mc Vapour’ (Halloween and Move your body)
28. Don’t be scared to be yourself. Don’t be scared to put your hand up in class and stop caring what other people think about you.

29. You’ll go a long time without boys showing any real interest but that’s ok, you only need to find one good one.

30. You have no bills (except your pay as you go), you have no responsibilities. No children, no rent. Make the most of it.


Weekly photo challenge: depth


I take photos out of my bedroom window regularly because of the great British weather..

Over there in the distance is the next town, then coming back towards me is the main dual carriageway across the county. There is the River Nene, and flood plain with a great open undisturbed space to walk dogs a watch birds and so on – this leads right up to my front door! Beautiful.

This Is The Last TIme I Get High

I snapped a picture of my surroundings and sent it to him, so somebody would know where I was. “Pretty,” he said. “Where is that?” “Downtown Newark.”   Downtown Newark, New Jersey is anything but pretty, but nighttime hides a multitude of sins.   “Are you going to score?” “Yes” I  texted. “Don’t be a […]


So powerful. My cousin could’ve written this. I’m sure she had the same experiences. She was a smack head, a crack..she was just a disgusting existence of wasted life.

I vowed never to touch drugs.

My drug of choice was cannabis. I stopped when I fell pregnant three n half years ago. I’ve not looked back. I have wanted to when the going got touch but to be honest the Prozac keeps that at bay.

Happy birthday to us! Frustration and communication.

Today is my 23rd birthday. I started my day as normal with a grumpy moan from my fiancé because our son had woken him, banging on the bed to get up. He took the quilt and cocooned himself in it – without a second thought for me, the birthday girl.
I’m used to it now and appreciate that he works and is not a morning person without tea so I did the “top wifey” thing and let him have a lay in and went down stairs with both children and gave them their breakfast, let the dogs out, collected up last nights wrappers and empty glasses and so on, then sat and waited…

And waited.

My fiancé got up shortly after what felt like an eternity (it wasn’t even 8:30am) so was still early for this household. He came down and followed his rather selfish routine. Come down roll a cigarette, go outside to smoke, come in put the kettle on and then goes to the bathroom. This didn’t seem to take so long today so I wasn’t sure if he had already realised it was my birthday. Then he made me a cup of tea and gave me a bundle of cards and a parcel my dad had sent.

I got a rubber phone case for iPhone 5s, I have a 5c so it’s not quite the right shape/size. Appreciated all the same. It was from my dad. Included a card and some money. A box of Thornton’s winter chocolates and a card from our neighbour and a few other cards.

Got to my mothers for Sunday lunch. Had a pork roast and homemade knickerbocker glory.

As my sister is 13 tomorrow we celebrate both together. I gave her her present from us, a 7″ tablet!

My mum was shocked, my fiancé thought I had gone mad and my stepdad was chuffed to bits!

See my little sister well she isn’t an average 13yr old girl. She has atypical quadriplegia cerebral palsy, microcephaly and global developmental delay (amongst other things such as a cortical visual impairment) Nikita is my little sister I love her dearly but she is, with the greatest respects, a spastic. Her attention span is usually about 7-1 minutes.
When she opened and I handed the tablet she sat for an hour and a half just amazed that she could play with it and not be told no! She was drawn in completely!
We had our lunch and pudding at which she had to put down the tablet and eat.
I’ve not seen her be so well behaved at the dinner table in a long time! She at nicely and didn’t mess about with the food (she feeds like a weening toddler as she has no control over her tongue)
I think that because her brain was engaged in an activity for such a length of time prior to dinner she was able to relax and eat! I am amazed!
Just one hour made a huge difference!

Please watch this video on YouTube, this is why I took it upon myself to buy my completely disabled sister a nice Android tablet!

youtube video about frustration and communication

Writer’s block, apparently

I found I needed to let of steam but had nothing to say, not sure why. I believe I had complete writers block. After a  brief search on Google I found an Idea Generator.

It rather inappropriately asked me to enter my subject…surely I’d not be here if i had a subject?
I answered with “stress” anyway, I thought that must be what is blocking my brain from letting my fingers type!

It proceeds to tell me that;

  • Lists are uberpopular
  • The weirder the better
  • Don’t leave me! and
  • That people respond to warnings.

So here goes first generated topic is

16 ways stresses leave you needing a lawyer!

Gemma strikes… Again!

Evidently I was in the kitchen sorting the rubbish and tripping over a child, a dog and a box to go out in the recycling, I believe it may have been for yesterday’s sage & onion stuffing. Anyhow, as the title suggests my daughter had, without me realising, grabbed my iPhone once again and snapped away at the havoc in the kitchen.
If you haven’t a clue what I’m rabbiting on about please have a look at “Weekly Photo Challenge: Express Yourself” and “Weekly Photo Challenge: Express Yourself (the follow up)”
You can get some idea to the lil techno geek that is my beautiful daughter Gemma. She is only three years of age!




I guess our little boy didn’t feel his sister was worthy of a face photo this time, but the oven glove on the other hand…