1. Feeling like the unfit or fat one in school and see all of your friends as being skinnier and prettier than you. Shrug it off because in 10 years time you will look back and think, ‘Shit, I had a great body, should’ve made the most of it. What happened to me!’ Now in your 20s feeling the pressure on your lungs when you try to tie your laces or maybe even run up the stairs, because now you really are that unfit!
2. Smoking 10 Richmond super kings (£2.15 back then) and 3 litres of White Lightening was not, is not and never will be a good idea. All that standing around outside the shop waiting with your friends pleading with someone as they pass by to buy some for you with all the dinner money that you’ve saved…together.
3. Hiding that bottle of chid (cider) in someone’s front garden when the police are in sight always seems like a good idea at the time.
4. Don’t post anything to your Bebo because, one day, you will forget your login details..
5. Even if you don’t forget the log in you can guarantee one particular friend will have print screened or copy & pasted it before you managed to delete it.
6. Signing in and out on MSN when the boy you fancy pops up as online is not going to make him want to talk to you any more, especially if he in fact knew you were online way before you knew he was.
7. ‘IDST’ is not true – it can be destroyed and will not remain to be true, do not worry.
8. Don’t worry about what people think about you, technology really is not that advanced yet. So what if someone got a photo of you in a compromising situation and sent it around school? Facebook hasn’t been invented yet so it will be forgotten in a few days and its possible that no one will ever see it again.
9. Don’t worry about being popular. In 10 years time, those kids you were so desperate to be friends with will be a distant memory, in fact you may even find they are the ones in a dead end job, yeah cool kid!
10. School really isn’t that bad, it’s only 9am until 3.20pm with a couple of breaks in between. It will seem like heaven when you eventually enter the world of work.
11. Stop experimenting with your mum’s make-up and buy your own. That orange line on your chin where you haven’t quite blended your foundation into your neck is not pretty. You look like a dog that’s been tangoed!
12. Similarly, stop shaving your eyebrows and drawing them on, embrace your facial hair because it will all be gone before you know it and you wont be able to step foot out the front door without drawing your eyebrows on. Which you can be certain to smudge or draw on wonky!
13. ‘Accidentally’ getting changed in front of your webcam is not cool.
14. Most of the boys you fancy now, will end up fat, ugly and in dead-end jobs.
15. Don’t be pushed into loosing your virginity to fit in or feel normal. it is precious!
16. Those career advisers are very much wrong, your GCSE options won’t impact that much on your career path.
17. You haven’t yet experienced proper heartbreak. Just because your ‘boyfriend of 5 months’ kissed someone you thought was your friend it is not the end of the world. That friend was doing you a favour and you will still be friends in 12 years time and that lad well see no. 14
18. Fridged, no, sensible is the word – 90% of those stupid boys saying that “you’re fridged” have probably never even seen or touched boobs, never mind anything else.
19. Don’t ever think it’s cool to be a chav. Walking round in trackies tucked into your socks, with a Fred Perry jumper on, hoop earrings and a boys chunky curb chain, just do not do it!.
20. You haven’t met the person you’re going to marry and have babies with yet. You might be a lesbian!
21. Don’t be in a rush to grow up, enjoy being young and being able to get away with doing silly things. Enjoy your childhood.
22. You and your friends will fall out and make up. Drama is everywhere, just be thankful you don’t have Facebook to exaggerate the issue further.
23. Don’t dye your hair. You’ll hate it and you’ll have dyed hair on your prom photos and you’ll hate them as well.
24. Throw away that brown belt made up of big circles with studs in the middle. One day, Deidre on Coronation Street will be wearing one and it’s best to get rid of all hard evidence that you owned one.
25. Don’t stress about shaving your legs for P.E. In years to come, you’ll go for weeks on end without shaving your legs and it won’t phase you.
26. Stop straightening your hair every single day. Split ends are not pretty.
27. DJ Cammy, DJ Rankin etc will cease to exist and you will always remember the rap to ‘Mc Vapour’ (Halloween and Move your body)
28. Don’t be scared to be yourself. Don’t be scared to put your hand up in class and stop caring what other people think about you.
29. You’ll go a long time without boys showing any real interest but that’s ok, you only need to find one good one.
30. You have no bills (except your pay as you go), you have no responsibilities. No children, no rent. Make the most of it.